I must be too annoying 4 u.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
