How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
