With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
