you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
