really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
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He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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