16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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