Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
