No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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