walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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