i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
