You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
