my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
