I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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