Sponge bath it is.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
