ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize