We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
