I am puke
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
