I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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