i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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