I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
