While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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