Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.