Texts From Last Night

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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.

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  (270): i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high. http://tfl.nu/s9x7
  Replies (25) Good night (1481) Bad night (2320)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.

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  (301): Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them. http://tfl.nu/uwdn
  Replies (25) Good night (3506) Bad night (736)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

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  (215): you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'. (215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/6wc5
  Replies (27) Good night (6908) Bad night (995)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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  (585): She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings. http://tfl.nu/pz3m
  Replies (44) Good night (6952) Bad night (1871)
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  (516): View more from New York

  OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM

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  (516): OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM http://tfl.nu/ckuz
  Replies (34) Good night (8092) Bad night (1936)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting

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  (719): We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting http://tfl.nu/vcgc
  Replies (6) Good night (4920) Bad night (948)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.

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  (480): Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight. http://tfl.nu/9xmn
  Replies (3) Good night (1311) Bad night (595)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.

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  (713): I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester. http://tfl.nu/tak8
  Replies (2) Good night (974) Bad night (1158)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it

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  (573): Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it http://tfl.nu/zdls
  Replies (5) Good night (1779) Bad night (975)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"

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  (321): Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo" http://tfl.nu/3ea4
  Replies (8) Good night (1006) Bad night (461)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Woke up in time for my 8:15

  (518): View more from New York

  Good for you I'm impressed

  (561): View more from Florida

  I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester

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  (561): Woke up in time for my 8:15 (518): Good for you I'm impressed (561): I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester http://tfl.nu/b7yv
  Replies (2) Good night (1235) Bad night (1301)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?

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  (617): Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now? http://tfl.nu/vwhb
  Replies (2) Good night (477) Bad night (384)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day

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  (971): Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day http://tfl.nu/yf5l
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (381)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up

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  (231): I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up http://tfl.nu/hchm
  Replies (3) Good night (460) Bad night (177)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first

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  (708): Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first http://tfl.nu/3yf7
  Replies (0) Good night (503) Bad night (131)

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