found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.