when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
