I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
