Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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