How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
