Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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