Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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