I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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