He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
