i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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