Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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