I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
