i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
