Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
