i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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