1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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