Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
