So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
