Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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