You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
