I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize