I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
