Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
