at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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