she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
