I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize