did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
