My cat gives me a boner
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
