And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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