Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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