yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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