I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize