sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
